No Exit

I'm recovering from a kidney infection. Stuff kicked in quick, too. Went from "hey, did I pull a muscle in my back?" to "Holy Mother of Christ that HURTS!!!" in less than 2 hours.

Before anyone else says anything, yes, I am drinking cranberry juice. I've drunk so much cranberry juice in the last few days I feel like I have a tangy fruit filling. Really, you don't have to offer me more. I'm covered. Thanks for the help though. There are also antibiotics and painkillers. It's most excellent. A shout-out to all my druggie friends. And to think some would say I run with the wrong crowd. :-)

Goddamn pain has been getting in my way a bit though. Buncha bullshit. Grrr.

But, I've gone on with my plan of eating a fruits and veggies diet for a few days. Probably easier on the kidney anyhow. Then the cigarettes go away next week. Stick with the yoga fun and the dojo fun. Yay.

I've still got that funny feeling like I lost the mission somewhere, but have been wondering how important that really is. Maybe just stick with what is until some likely-looking mission presents itself. I don't believe in Fate, or that things are "meant to be" (and by whom would these things be "meant" anyway?), or in expecting the entire universe to bow down and validate my every decision anyway, and waiting around for someone/something else to give you a reason to go about your own business is-- well, not to get too combative with people or anything, but it's stupid and childish. I'm not that important, and damned glad of it. Nah, I'm just not interested in making anything around me a "mission" at the moment, so I'm at loose ends as a result of my own choice. Better to take care of details for awhile. Get those duckies lined up before some new thing comes along and blows it all into disarray again. It's all good, as they say.

I have a rant or two I could tear off on, but can't seem to gather a consistent thread. I hate being sick.